Who you choose to marry is one of the biggest and most important decisions you can make in your entire life. And who you choose can either greatly benefit you and enrich your life or make it harder.
Hello and welcome back! If you’re new here, my name is Constance. I’m a relationship, dating and marriage writer for Luvjunktion.
I teach you how to stop wasting your time and energy on bad relationships and marriage by learning the skills that you need to have that happy lifelong relationship. So if that’s what you’re looking for, then I am happy you’re here.
In today’s post, I am going to be talking about the 10 traits of a high-value man that I think are so important, especially when it comes to marriage or just having a long-lasting, fulfilling, successful relationship.
10 Trait Of A High Value Man And A Keeper
Trait 1
The first trait that I think is super important when it comes to being a high-value man and a keeper is if he has goals, dreams, and a purpose.
If a man has no desire to strive for anything and just gets through his day by sitting on the couch in front of the TV, then I can pretty much guarantee you that he won’t make a very good husband.
A high-value man is ambitious and really wants a positive life for himself, this is not only a masculine nature, but it’s also attractive to women.
There’s nothing more repelling to a feminine woman than a man who has no idea what he’s doing or what he wants from his life.
Especially a man who just uses TV, food, drugs, alcohol, video games to numb himself and escape from his reality.
Ladies, if this is how he acts in his life and in his career, then he will treat your relationship the same and that’s a red flag and that’s not a good husband material in my own opinion.
Trait 2
Another thing that makes a man high-value and marriage material is generosity; the act of wanting to provide, wanting to make your life better.
If you are a feminine woman, then you will naturally want a more masculine partner, and what comes with that masculine energy is their ability and their drive to provide, protect and to want to enrich your life.
Generosity is actually one of the biggest predictors for a successful, happy, long-lasting relationship, and so having a partner that is generous is important.
Now, let’s just get direct here. When we talk about providing, does that mean that he has to have a lot of money?
The answer is no, but you know, there’s no denying that it can help in today’s world; money does buy safety and security and opportunity.
But it also depends on you and your preferences, and I also think it can depend on what stage of life you’re in.
If I was dating in my 40s, having a partner who’s financially successful, would be a pretty high requirement for me, I’m not going to lie.
But if I’m dating in my early 20s and I’m dating a man who’s 22, the chances of him having true financial success at that age and being able to provide for someone is very slim; that’s very rare.
But regardless, if your partner is not generous and actively does not wants to make your life better or easier, and doesn’t have a provider mentality—whether you want him to provide financially for you or not.
Then he might not be marriage material, especially if you are a feminine woman.
Trait 3
The third trait on the list is if he’s a man who learns from his mistakes, because here’s the thing: we all make mistakes, and we will all continue to make mistakes until the day we die.
And even a high-value man will make mistakes. But the real question is, does he learn from them?
Does he take that knowledge and use it as he moves forward in his life? Or does he keep repeating the same mistakes over and over and over again?
Does he choose to ignore those learning lessons? Is he able to take feedback to understand and improve himself?
Or does he push it away because it hurts his ego? You can’t expect anyone to be perfect, including your future husband, but how does he handle those mistakes? That’s the crucial part.
Does he own his mistakes and take responsibility for them? Or does he try to blame them on other people or other things?
A man who takes responsibility for his mistake and has the maturity and awareness to learn and grow from those mistakes and use them as an opportunity to better himself—that is a man that you want in your life.
Trait 4
The fourth trait is that he knows what he wants and goes after it, and therefore his feelings should be very clear about you.
A keeper won’t be hot and cold or be a wishy-washy kind of crap: sometimes he invites you out, sometimes he completely ignores you, or he’s not communicating any real interest.
A High value man will be very clear and consistent about how he feels and not just tell you, but show you that he cares and that he’s interested in you.
And if he’s not interested in you, then a high-value man will just communicate this honestly and directly, whether it’s with his words or with his actions.
If you’re seeing a guy and he won’t step up and commit or he’s not really pursuing a relationship with you, then it’s okay to let him go.
When you find the right guy, someone who is marriage material and is also super into you, he will let you know how he feels about you and you won’t be having questions and doubts about how he feels.
And that’s the man you want: someone who clearly and openly cares about you and really wants you in his life.
Trait 5
A high-value man who is a keeper is not afraid to take on responsibility, although some men have an interesting relationship with responsibility.
Because here’s the thing: men generally tend to kind of want to avoid responsibility because it can feel stifling, and the masculine man really values freedom.
But at the same time, taking responsibility for something or someone is one of the things that will actually help them to feel the most fulfilled in life.
Although it’s something that young men will sometimes push away, especially when they’re much younger, even though it’s the one thing they need to feel good, grow and to feel fulfilled.
And you want a man who can and is willing to take on responsibility, because marriage is a big responsibility.
Especially if you want to be more of the feminine energy in that relationship, that’s why you need to be with a man who is okay leading, taking charge and taking the leadership role when needed.
A high-value man will not shy away from responsibility and instead he’ll step into it. And when you’re with someone who’s able to do this, this will lead to a more secure and trusting relationship.
Trait 6
Another thing that makes a man high-value is that he takes care of himself.
Does he take care of his body and his mind? Does he care about his health? Does he just eat crap food all the time? Does he move his body?
If a man doesn’t have the discipline and the commitment to take care of himself, will he be able to have the discipline and commitment in other areas of his life? Maybe, but probably not.
I 100% don’t think he needs to be perfect, but if he’s just living on fast food every day, never goes to the gym, and that’s just like his normal lifestyle, then that’s a little bit concerning.
Again, he doesn’t need to be obsessive about this, but it needs to be on his mind and taken seriously.
Our health matters and our commitment to ourselves matters. And not only will this lack of commitment and lack of self-care show up in other areas of his life.
But also, you want a partner who is vibrant, who has energy, who will hopefully be around a long time, who is mentally clear.
When a man is unhealthy, it’s going to make it a lot harder for him to step up to be the high-value masculine partner that you want and that you deserve.
Trait 7
If he has resilience and a growth mindset as opposed to a fixed mindset then he’s a high value and a keeper.
Resilience and the ability to grow is one of the biggest strengths he can have because there will inevitably be times where he will get knocked down or life will throw curve balls at him.
But how does he respond? Does he get back up again? Does he stay strong through the face of adversity and keep going? Or does he run away from it and hide?
And I think resilience and a growth mindset kind of go hand in hand because those with a fixed mindset, they believe that things are already kind of set in stone and they can’t really do much about things.
But having a growth mindset means instead of backing down, you try to figure things out. Instead of saying “I don’t know how to do this,” they say “I can learn how to do this.”
With a growth mindset, they are not defined by their failure, and instead, they can see it as an opportunity, and they always continue to push forward.
And you need a man like that in your life: a man who won’t give up, a man who will fight for you and your family, a man who is always growing and learning and trying to better himself.
These are such important qualities to have and are a huge determining factor if he is indeed a high-value man or not.
Trait 8
Number eight, is that he stands by his values and he doesn’t get pushed around, and he can be assertive and stand up for himself when he needs to.
Now, assertive doesn’t mean aggressive, but he needs to be comfortable with who he is and what he believes in and what he cares about, and he can’t just be a pushover and have no boundaries.
And truthfully, if you’re with a man who just kind of gets walked all over, you will likely lack some respect for him, and that will not lead to a healthy relationship dynamic, especially when it comes to masculine-feminine energy; that’s just not the dynamic you want to have.
And with that said, a high-value man who stands up for himself will also stand up for you, too, and that is what you need in a marriage and what you need to feel secure and to be able to relax into your feminine energy.
Trait 9
Now, to be a high-value man and marriage material, he also needs emotional intelligence, and this is a non-negotiable.
It’s very difficult to be in a healthy relationship with someone who lacks emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is how well a person can identify their emotions, manage their emotions, and be self-aware, but also be aware of the emotions of others and have empathy and have understanding for others, and being able to handle social situations and all that.
And emotional intelligence is really critical for a man to have because this affects his relationships not just with you or his romantic partner, but with his friends, with his family, with his work colleagues, with everyone.
This will affect if people enjoy being around him, if he’s a good friend, if he succeeds at work, and if he’s able to have a happy and fulfilling, successful relationship.
Trait 10 The Most Important!
And of course, the most important of them all: does he have high integrity?
A high-value man always has high integrity, and this is a non-negotiable for someone that you are choosing to spend the rest of your life with.
Is he honest? Is he loyal? Is he trustworthy? Does he have good intentions? Does he make you feel secure? Does he lead with love?
If he doesn’t have these traits, then just go and scuttle in another direction because this probably won’t lead to a happy and secure relationship.
Does he fulfill his promises? Does he keep his word? Does he make you question his loyalty to you? How does he treat other people? How does he treat the waiter?
How does he treat his mom? Is he kind and genuine? Or does he constantly talk about people behind their back? Having high integrity is the most important characteristic of them all.