Hello, ladies, welcome. In today’s post, I will be sharing with you five common dating mistakes that you should avoid.
Hello and welcome back! If you’re new here, my name is Constance. I’m a relationship, dating and marriage writer for Luvjunktion.
I teach you how to stop wasting your time and energy on bad relationships and marriage by learning the skills that you need to have that happy lifelong relationship. So if that’s what you’re looking for, then I am happy you’re here.
Ladies, as a relationship expert who also has been in my fair share of relationships, I have come to understand there are certain mistakes that you must avoid, especially in the beginning of a relationship, so let’s get into it.
He likes you, you like him and he’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a man. Before you start planning your wedding and how many children that you will have together, hold on.
read this blogpost to the end so that you know what mistakes to avoid. And at the end of this blogpost, I will share with you which of these mistakes I used to make.
6 Dating Mistakes Most Ladies Make You Should Avoid
1. Valuing words over action
Ladies, a man will say anything to get what he wants. Yes, in certain circumstances, a man will even say something and back it up with action, but still turn out to be somebody who never wanted something serious with you in the beginning.
That is just life being life. But in the beginning of a relationship, you cannot afford to value words over actions.
A man can tell you he loves you, he misses you, he wants to be with you, he cannot wait for both of you to be together forever and ever.
If he is not backing up those words with actions, then those words are meaningless, and you should not place any value on them at all.
A man cannot ghost you and call you weeks later and tell you he misses you, and you believe him, actions, they say, speak louder than words.
If he is saying one thing but acting a different way, his actions are what you should measure him with.
You cannot afford the dream a man sells you with his words; it is too expensive.
It doesn’t matter what stage your relationship is at right now, because if you notice that the words are coming quickly but the actions are not coming through, then it may be time to make a very difficult but important decision.
2. Giving Your All Too Quickly
The most significant way I see this play out is that the lady stops talking to other people just because a guy has shown interest in her.
Her love life then becomes about this one person. Her time, her energy, everything becomes about this one person. And the worst part is that sometimes they’re not even exclusive yet.
I am not encouraging you to cheat if you are in an exclusive relationship, but if you just started talking to somebody, I encourage you to still entertain messages and calls and dates from other people.
Go on dates. Learn what you like and do not like. Gather that experience because, with that experience, you will get to learn what you want in a man and what you do not want in a man. Explore your options.
There is a saying that I have come to love so much, and that is: “Nothing given that has not been earned.”
This should be your mantra as you start to explore the possibilities in a new relationship.
3. Introducing Him To Family And Friends
Ladies, stop introducing a man that you just started talking. This complicates things if the relationship doesn’t work out.
I am not wishing you bad, but sometimes it doesn’t work out, and then you have to start thinking about what other people are going to think, how they are going to feel.
A new relationship should be closely guarded until the man has proven himself to you.
Then you can open the door to your world and let him into your relationships with your friends and your family.
4. Allowing Your Fantasies To Take Over
This can be a very costly mistake because if you allow your fantasies to take over, you start to detach yourself from reality, and you start to ignore red flags.
As much as you like him, as much as you want things to work between the both of you, the logical part of your mind should stay in charge, especially in the beginning of the relationship.
We have all heard of the lady who got married, and then the husband suddenly became abusive, and we have asked the question, “Didn’t she know?” Yes, in certain circumstances, abusers are able to hide their true nature.
But most times, there are signs. It may not be in the way he treats you, but in the way he treats others around you, and even in his value and belief system.
Get out of your head and make sure that your fantasies are in line with your reality.
5. Moving to his rhythm
As you start to explore the possibilities in a new relationship, try not to make the mistake of moving to his rhythm.
This could be you stopping what you’re doing to entertain every text, every call immediately.
It could be canceling plans with your friends just because he called at the last minute to take you out on a date. Do not make this mistake, rather let him move to your rhythm.
If he calls or texts, when you’re busy instead of replying immediately, send him a message that you will call him back later on.
If he calls you, last minute to take you out on a date, tell him you have something planned already—even if you were going to file your nails that weekend.
And if he cancels on you, take yourself out all the same. You cannot afford to move at his rhythm at the beginning.
And if you do, then there is something wrong because you should have a life outside of his.
Being available all the time can lead to problems later on in the relationship.
If a man gets used to you being available 24/7, then when you are truly not available, he will not believe you and this can lead to trust issues in the relationship.
A bonus to not always being available is that he will begin to value and look forward to your time together. And trust me, ladies, you want this.
6. Not Communicating Your Boundaries Early Enough
You need to communicate your boundaries early in the relationship. This way, you get to find out whether he’s going to respect those boundaries.
Keeping quiet out of fear that if you communicate your boundaries you are going to scare him off is a sure recipe for disaster.
You will lose yourself, your respect, his respect, and you will start to resent him.
If he does or says something you do not like, it is important you tell him that early enough.
If you do this and he chooses to walk away, then you just dodge a bullet, because the last thing you want is a man who does not respect your boundaries.
The Mistake I Made
Now I will share with you the mistake I made in my past relationship, and that is Mistake Number Five.
Ladies, I was too available. I entertained every call, every text almost immediately.
I cancelled plans with my girlfriends if he called last minute to take me out on a date.
And I also held my plans on hold just because I wanted him to be sure of his plans first.
The worst part was that he wasn’t always available to me. I could call him, he would decline my call and send me a message that he’s in a meeting. I became resentful and angry.
It took me a while to understand that I did not have to drop everything that I was doing and entertain his call and his text, and I should not expect that from him too.
So don’t make the same mistake I made and I hope that you have learned from me. As always, be kind to yourself, ladies. Bye!