In today’s blogpost I’ll be talking about 9 things nice guys do wrong that’re instant attraction killers.
But here’s the best part, guys. Not only are you going to learn what you’re doing wrong but you’re also going to learn what to do instead.
Because it’s important to know what to do instead so you can get that dream girl.
So if you are tired of being the nice guy that no one wants to date and you’re ready to be a total heartthrob and get that dream girl, make sure you pay close attention and make sure you read to the end.
Before we dive in, if this is your first time reading one of my blogposts, welcome! My name is Ashley. I’m a relationship, dating and marriage writer for Luvjunction.
I teach you how to stop wasting your time and energy on bad relationships and marriage by learning the skills that you need to have that happy lifelong relationship.
So if that’s what you’re looking for, then I am happy you’re here.
Are you tired of being the nice guy that no one wants to date? Are you tired of being ghosted and being in the friend zone? It’s painful, isn’t it? I think It’s time to change that narrative.
Now we’re going to go over some of the things nice guys do wrong, So without further ado, let’s get started.
9 Things Nice Guys Do Wrong That Are Instant Attraction Klllers
1. Acting Like Her Friend
The first thing that nice guys do wrong that is an instant attraction killer is acting like you’re her friend.
And this is one of the most common reasons nice guys end up in the friend zone.
Instead of acting like a potential partner or someone attractive to date, they act like her friend.
And when that happens she thinks, “oh, well then he must just want to be friends,” and that’s why you get put in the friend zone and though sometimes you can get out but other times you honestly can’t.
So rather than acting like her friend, you need to understand how to attract her and how to act like more than a friend. Does it make sense?
This is one of the biggest benefits of having the right dating and relationship skills. Instead of acting like a friend you act like an attractive confident man.
2. Not Setting Boundaries
Another one of the big things nice guys do wrong that kills the attraction, is when you don’t set boundaries.
Someone who sets appropriate boundaries has self-respect and they have confidence and that is the type of persons women are drawn to.
All ladies want to be around a man who is confident and has a healthy self-respect for himself. So it’s important that you set boundaries. And honestly in all areas of your life.
Because if she sees that you let people walk all over you and you get pushed around by everyone, that shows that you’re incompetent, weak, not masculine, not confident and you don’t have a healthy self-respect for yourself, and it’s honestly exhausting to be in a relationship with someone like that.
And that is why what she wants is to have a confident and strong masculine man, and that is attractive.
Honestly, guys, this is one of the biggest things that gets you labeled a nice guy. So setting appropriate boundaries is a game changer.
It changes how you see yourself and how you feel about yourself which in turn changes how everyone else sees you and skyrockets your attraction.
3. Not Taking Action
The next thing nice guys do wrong that kills the attraction and causes you to miss out on your dream relationship is not taking action.
What do I mean by that? I mean not being proactive about relationships.
This means just waiting for relationships to just happen or not actively learning what you need to know to make a relationship work.
Often, as Christians, this is incredibly common in the Christian culture, some of us are just waiting for God to make it happen.
And this doesn’t make any sense, guys. We don’t wait for God to do anything else in our lives, right?
You cannot just wait for God to come fill up your car with gas or wait for God to move you to a new home. You take action.
So one of the biggest things that labels someone a nice guy is when he’s not proactive about dating and relationships or being good at them or knowing how to create them.
4. Not Pursuing
The next thing nice guys do wrong that instantly kills attraction? It’s when you don’t pursue, Women need to be pursued, that’s how God created us.
And don’t misunderstand me, but she’s pursuing you in her ways as well and you need to make sure you know how to identify that and how to see that’s what she’s doing.
so it’s not that women aren’t pursuing, it just looks different than how men pursue. So if she’s interested and she’s doing this pursuing but you don’t pursue her back, that’s a painful rejection to her.
Like to her that hurts so bad because she thinks you know she’s pursuing, and so if you don’t act and that really hurts.
In addition to that women are naturally attracted to men who pursue, if she sees you as masculine and confident, she will feels safe and drawn to you.
So not pursuing her is one of the best ways to end up a nice guy instead of a guy who’s holding the girl of his dreams.
5. Telling Her You Have Feelings Too Soon
A lot of men think that what it means to pursue her, is to just go and tell her that they have feelings for her and they are going to tell her how beautiful she is and that they have a crush on her,” or whatever it is.
That’s not pursuing, guys. That’s creepy. I don’t know how to say that nicely, guys but that’ll sure look creepy to her if you do that.
What that does is, that assumes an emotional closeness that’s not there yet, she does not want to know that you have feelings for her until you’ve been dating for a while.
And that’s when you’re ready to be serious or ready to go to boyfriend-girlfriend status, then you can tell her that, but not before.
Otherwise she will go, “whoa” I don’t even know this guy, he doesn’t even really know me. He must want something from me,” and it freaks her out.
Never, ever, ever, tell her you have feelings for her until you are ready to take things to the next level.
6. Not Putting Effort Into Your Appearance
The next thing nice guys do wrong is not putting in the right effort in how they look and this often comes from not knowing how to look nice.
So, often what labels someone a nice guy and what frankly kills the attraction very quickly is when he doesn’t dress masculine, confident and ways that shows off how attractive he is.
Many, men think they’re not attractive, when in reality they just have a bad haircut or their clothes don’t fit them right or they’re wearing a style that they should not be trying to wear.
And it’s not that they aren’t attractive, it’s just that they don’t understand how to make that shine. The bottom line here is to make sure that you are putting in the right effort with how you look.
This includes your haircut, your facial hair, how you dress, making sure your style is modern and classic and masculine.
7. Being Needy
It’s very easy to be needy. A good way to tell if you’re a needy person is when you need constant affirmation, attention or validation.
And even when you kind of feel like you have to beg her for attention and that’s draining to her, she doesn’t want a needy man.
Instead, she wants a confident man, now that doesn’t mean that she shouldn’t compliment you and support you and encourage you.
Those are all traits you must have in a good relationship, right? It just means that you also need to be confident in who you are and confident that you have good things to offer.
Being needy is a really common thing that messes up the approach and messes up pursuing her the right way.
8. Not Showing Drive & Ambition
Interesting people are attractive people. Someone who is involved in things, someone who has hobbies and interests and who is pursuing things in life. Those people are interesting, they’re attractive, they’re fun.
So often, the reason why guys gets labeled a nice guy is if he just doesn’t seem to have much to offer, he’s just kind of boring, and doesn’t have a lot to show.
Instead you should show her that you’re involved in good things, because you are and that you’re driven and you’re pursuing all kinds of wonderful things in life, that’s attractive to her, that’s interesting to her.
And honestly, guys, let’s be real, right now as you’re reading this blogpost is the perfect time to be adding to who you are, so that when you meet her you’re a very interesting person and therefore a very attractive person.
So go online after reading this post and learn things. As you are adding to who you are, you will naturally become a more attractive person and step past being that nice guy that no one wants to date. Does it make sense?
9. Having a Negative Attitude
I cannot tell you guys how many comments I have seen from men who are like, “girls don’t like nice guys,” and then they go on and they rant.
And they are so negative I’m like, dude, that’s not your problem. You are so negative that she can’t even stand to be around you.
No one wants to spend time with someone who’s always focusing on the negative. Instead be someone who’s optimistic, happy, fun and playful.
Although I know it’s easy to fall into negativity, especially if you don’t have confidence, it’s easy to be negative about yourself and dating in general.
However, it’s time to change that, it’s time to become that positive person, that’s what makes you feel better, that’s what skyrockets your confidence, and that is what attracts her.
Conclusion
There you have it guys, the 9 things that nice guys do wrong that instant kills attraction.
So to recap, the first thing we talked about is acting like her friend instead of a potential date or a potential partner.
The next thing is when you don’t set boundaries. She wants to see someone confident and masculine, not someone who gets pushed around a lot.
and then the next thing nice guys do wrong is not taking action and just waiting for the relationship to happen, waiting for things to just magically fall into place. Instead, you need to be proactive and learn what to do and do it. That’s how you get results.
Next up is not pursuing her. Which leads us to the next thing nice guys do wrong which is telling her you have feelings for her before you’ve been dating for a while. Bad mistake. Don’t do it.
Next thing nice guys do wrong is not putting in the right effort to how you look. You want to make sure you look confident and masculine and attractive.
The next thing is being needy. That is an instant attraction killer. Like instant and the next after that is not showing her that you have drive, ambition and interests.
And then we have the negative attitude. When you have a negative attitude it kllls attraction so fast.
But you should instead have a positive, happy and confident attitude, this right here, that’s attractive.
Thank you so much for reading, my wonderful friend!
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